Giving Hope

I don't have time to comment on the article in the link right now, but it's definately given me some food for thought with respect to how I approach my patients and clients.

Doctors' Delicate Balance in Keeping Hope Alive

They spent money on this research?

The life of a spoon

And you thought Quad squirrels were bad

Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'.

Odd Science News

Odd Science News from 2005

Directions

After reading several blogs by various people (friends, strangers, colleagues) I've come to the realization that I don't have much direction on my blog. I don't really have any set theme in my head that I'm trying to follow. Not that this is a good thing or a bad thing, just an observation.

Right now I've been using it more or less to relate things going on in my life to friends I don't necessarily talk with or see very often. In a way, it's become a replacement for talking on the phone or making an effort to go out with people outside of Chuck's friends. Ever since vet school graduation, I've felt somehow inadequate compared to most of the friends I used to have. Actually it probably started long before that. I know it's all in my head, but it still haunts me that I was one of the few in my class to graduate without a job and remain in the Champaign area instead of moving on. When initially looking for jobs after graduation, I was criticized for not having done many practical externships during senior year or the summers between years (although I was working full time in the summer and held two jobs during the school year for most of vet school). Since being let go from my most recent job, I have not really talked to many of my close friends because I feel uncomfortable reminding myself that they have jobs-they've succeeded-where I've failed. I'm not good at taking criticism of that sort.

The lack of direction on my blog is a reflection of my life at the moment. I've always had a list in my head of how my life is going to go, ie I'm going to graduate high school and go to a large college, I'm going to finish college in 3 years and go to vet school, I'm going to graduate vet school and get married, then work. Unfortunately that's about as far as I ever got in my daydreams-nothing beyond that. Well, now I'm beyond that and I don't have my plan anymore-no long term goals so to speak. It scares the crap out of me. I don't know what I want to do with my life, where things always used to be so definate in getting from point A to point B. I no longer have a point B. And I don't know what to do to fix that.

I've thought a lot about my options now that I don't really have a job. One of the big things I've been thinking about is doing a residencey. Then the question becomes "In what? Where? How to get one?" My biggest interests in my field are exotics, pathology, and laboratory animal medicine. Unfortunately the hurdles to getting advanced training in these fields are huge. I don't have the people to make the recommendations, I don't have the experience I would need to open doors, I don't have as much support at home as I need to get the experience or the actual position, and I'm stuck in the Champaign area. To top it all off, I'm not mentally prepared to give up some parts of veterinary medicine to pursue the others. All of the fields I'm interested in mesh together, but it involves giving up the personal interactions with pet owners and individual patients for the more academic and scientific side of medicine. In searching for a job and doing interviews, I've discovered that I need to start making some of these decisions. One of the jobs I'm looking at involves no hands-on work at the level of the patient. I don't know if I'm prepared to step back at this point in my career.

Hopefully I'll be able to figure out my directions soon and get my thoughts and life back on track.

Good News

Finally things are starting to happen. I've sent out numerous resumes to various clinics within the greater Champaign area, and up until this week they've gone nowhere. Monday morning, bright and early, I got a phone call from one of the most recent clinics, and have an interview tomorrow. Today I was contacted again for a different place that also wants to interview me. I don't know if I'll end up working at either of these places, but at least it's something. Who knows, maybe my Christmas wish will come true.

Weekend in Michigan

We went to Michigan this weekend to visit my relatives for Christmas. It was really nice to see everyone, especially since I hadn't seen most of them since my cousin's wedding in June. I realize that I'm really not good at keeping in touch with my cousins or grandparents, or anyone else for that matter. If I don't see them, I usually don't think to write or call them, which is really unfortunate.

I also got a little surprise when I went up there-found out two more of my cousins are getting married next summer-and I thought weddings would be done for a while. One of them is my brother's age, and has been seeing his fiance for just under a year, which I have no problems with (I was actually very impressed when I met her, compared to his previous girlfriends). I have some trouble believing the my other cousin (the brother of the first one) is getting married, though. He is only 19, and has been with his girlfriend for 2-3 years (I think). He never actually proposed, either. His girlfriend just came home one day and said "We're getting married in June. I've bought my dress and everything." I don't know why, but that just disturbed me. I know I should be happy for him, but I can't help but think that it's a divorce waiting to happen. To each their own, I suppose.

Good advertising?

Saw a commercial this weekend. It was for a bottle of wine, and went something like this:
"Looks like a $40 bottle of wine, Tastes like a $20 bottle of wine, but only costs $12.99"
So, in other words, looks like expensive wine, tastes like cheap wine, is cheaper than most cheap wines. How is that good advertising?

Sad News

London is retiring the double-decker red bus.

Car trouble

I am so sick of my car having problems. It seems that every time I think things are working the way they should be, another problem pops up. Four months ago, the light cover for my turn signal fell off (I think it blew off during a storm). About two-three months ago my car battery died while I was at Panera, and in jump starting my car to get it to the car battery place, it fried my stereo. So I also had to replace my stereo. Now it's in the garage and I can't get it to start properly again. I just want and need a new car, but really can't afford it at the moment. And to top it all off, I forgot to include the insurance payment on my car for this month's budget, so there go all the Christmas presents. :(

Cool Christmas Lights

Chuck and I did our outdoor christmas lights, but they're nothing like the links below.
Wizards in Winter lights
Jingle Bells

Cat in a tree

We finally have our Christmas tree set up with lights and ornaments and everything. So why is it that the pets are continually trying to take it down? I have found my cat Phoenix in the tree no less than 5 times today, and it's only noon. Grrr.....

Surprise paycheck

I really like unexpected surprises. Saturday I got another paycheck in the mail (especially surprised because I haven't worked during that pay period). Granted it wasn't for very much, but now I'm wondering if I'll get any more unexpected paychecks, or if I'll get a Christmas bonus (I know my former workplace gave a few bonus last year to people that no longer worked there). That would be nice, and help Chuck and I spread the Christmas cheer a little further.

DMB Concert

Chuck and I (and some other friends) went to the DMB concert last night. It's been a while since I've actually been to a concert-the last one was Chicago, which was a corporate sponsored concert for a veterinary convention, and even longer since I went to a concert for people closer to my own age. Thanks to a friend's sister, we were able to get student tickets the day before they went on sale, but the tickets (naturally) were in the "student section." The concert itself was pretty good (although I'm not quite as familiar with some of their newer stuff as the older stuff), but it occurred to me that most of the people around us at the concert weren't even in junior high when I first started listening to them. That started making me feel old. Then, when slower songs were played, half the people opened their cell phones to create light instead of using lighters. All around us, people were constantly on the phone or using their phones for lights, pictures, recording, etc. It's not really surprising, but it just got annoying after a while. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to it.